Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Why is it that the persons we hurt the most are the ones who love us the most?

Why is it that the persons we hurt the most are the ones who love us the most? the biggest fight happen with people who are closest to us

How much ever irritated mood we are in, we are nice and smile to strangers, not so close friends, neighbor etc but even if we are slightest irritated we take it out on the people who are closest to us, mostly our close family, people who love us the most?

Is it because we know that how much ever we are rude to them they will never leave us, Is it right on our part? How much ever good a rubber band is it has a breaking point, the more you stretch it, the more weaker the rubber band gets,

But still the question is how come we can easily hurt people who love us, while we keep a smiling face (even if a fake one) in front of relatively unknow people? Logic dictates it should be the other way around, keeping our loved ones happy and not caring how a stranger feels, right?

Hurting a loved one cause hurt to us also, the guilt and sorrow we feel after seeing a tear on their face, even if later they smile, remembering that tear can get us down again, yet we hurt them, Why?

But I have noticed one more thing, the close and loved ones are the people who can really push your buttons, I mean if they are close to us and know what annoy us, then why do they persist in annoying and irritating us?

Sunday, August 15, 2010

My little busy weekend 13-15 Aug

This was a real busy weekend for me, A trip to kerala, my cousin got engaged and flying back, can't call it a vacation as I had no time to rest, but really took away the monotony which had become my life of office and home :(

I took a day off on friday, I could have gone to office and got out early and flown to Kerala, like what was my original plan, but looking at the heavy work in office I thought better take a leave (though I think it annoyed my TL) than go to office and get stuck in a situation you can't leave on time to catch the flight.

So rested in the morning, went to airport and took the flight to kerala, I need to say that I am impressed with the new airport terminal at Mumbai airport, Terminal 1C, there is a bar at the airport, though I couldn't really check it out and drink cause my uncle was with me, I guess he might have joined me if I asked, but I felt I better act as the good Kid ;)

Flight was pretty uneventful, Reached there and the drive to home, about 2 hours I part of any trip to Native place which I hate. Anyway as we reached pretty late in the eveing, just had food and went to sleep, not before opening my big mouth and being appoined as the Driver :), also got time to tease my cousin about getting engaged.

Cousins Engagement day, Get up had breakfast and took her to the beati-parlor, dear cousin, how many times I have told you, "You are really naturally beautiful, you don't need the make-up" but yet you never listen to me, and had to waste 2 hours in there. Luckily I had my cell-phone with me, Thank God for facebook and twitter for keeping me company.

Now the 2 hour beauti-waste-treatment, after which my cousin came out looking as beautiful as always threw the whole schedule off, so now my cousin had to rush home, Take blessing from everyone and rush to Church, say thanks to Me, the brother cum driver who made it was possible. :)

It was possible true, but not without the hic-ups, my Grand-Father suddenly started not feeling well and had to be rushed to the hospital, which dampened the mood a bit, but by gods grace everything is fine with him and everything went fine with the engagement.

So how was my second opinion about the guy my cousin sisters parents have selected for her? It agrees with my first opinion that the guy has struck a gold-mine with my sister while I don't know what my sister got (I am gonna get stoned for this statement I guess ;) ) But truth is the truth, isn't it?

Anyway, food was good, everyone enjoyed it, I finished with my duties as brother got time to play with my niece, meet various relatives, tell hello to various people I don't know and have already forgotten the name also, well thats a engagement right? Main part of Kerlite Cristian Wedding is still to come ;). Lot of teasing still remaining My sis, you still have plenty of photos to pose for.

And then today Sunday, drove to the airport, great drive enjoyed it, But I really feel back-seat driving should be banned, when someone is driving you somewhere, please give that person a peace of mind to drive. Flight to Mumbai again was uneventful. so now again resume normal life for me tomorrow.

Want to add this, All relatives I met in Kerala said "Savio, You look great, you are glowing". Glowing?? hello, what does that mean, can some one explain? I don't have a 100W bulb inside me to glow, I think that statement is a complement, but whats the complement in it?

Another common statement, "Savio, we need to find a girl for you before your hair goes" 1st Question, are all girls only so shallow to look at the hair, if yes, me happy single. 2nd question, What difference does it make for the world if I am single or married, Please mind your own business people, (I hope you have one)

Friday, August 13, 2010


Weltschmerz: (German) The depression that arises from comparing the world as it is to a hypothetical, idealised world.

Why have I started a blog with this word, don't know. But when I heard it it stuck me somewhere, I guess I can't explain where it struck me but it struck me, I am not in depression but I sometimes compare my current world to a idealized world and make me wonder why aren't we in that.

Weltschmerz, I really have no idea how to prounce this word also. So mostly I won't ever really be using it in a ordinary conversation too, but still the word strikes a cord.

Now what would be my ideal world? would it be a one in which I am a multi-millioire with Greek God like looks and females fauning over me, or would my Ideal world would be one in which the earth is at peace, All of man-kind working for the betterement of their fellow creatures, No war, no poverty and no tears? Which would really be a ideal world for me to compare with? Both impropable as it is.

I don't know, but thinking about it I will settle for a bit of wealth to live comfortably without really worrying about money, surrounded by a set of family and friends who really care for you because they love you and not cause of your money, success, looks or they got to act as if they like you cause you are family. This combined with pretty good health will really be the best place to live in. (am I becoming too senti now?)

Coming back to the word "Weltschmerz" makes me wonder why was this word coined to cover such a complex emotion? I mean i have heard there is more than 100 words decribing snow for eskimos, (though this article proves it wrong), Why do Germans have this word in their dictionary, is there too many Germans comparing there real world to their ideal world?

If it is, is that one of the reasons why Germany has risen so fast to become a real developed country after it was reduced to ruins in the 2nd world war? A lot of people working to make a ideal world reality will really bring a whole country into a ideal world, don't you think,

So if all of India worked to make this world a ideal world i feel we would live in a ideal world, what do you say people?

But again what is a Ideal world??????

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Office: Senior Software Tester Tag and what does it really mean to me

I am again writing after pretty long time, almost a month, again its not that stuff wasn't happening in life just wasn't feeling in a mood to write it.

Plenty has been happening, but the point that really has been running in my mind for last few days has been my raise in salary and post, I am officially a "Senior Software Tester"

I don't know why this point is something that has been running in my head,

I am given a Title "Senior Software Tester" but am still doing the same thing I have been doing before, nothing new. True my TL keeps telling me to delegate stuff to juniors but when I look something or the other would already have been given to them by my TL,  Now if he has already given them work what do I do.

Another thing is that takes up plenty of my time is the small small work which has to be done, so by the time I delegate and explain to my juniors how to do it I can finish the work myself so I do the work myself which again increases my work.

Apart from that I have been told to coordinate with the marketing team to solve the technical support query, this is something which I don't call it a headache, because I like to solve stuff, but when I have to keep following it up with someone else who is very busy to complete the technical support makes it irritating.

Have been in the same project for almost more than 1.5 years, I kind of know what happenes where on the site, so many things are routed to me by TL or others, its a good feeling, but this small stuff also takes up time.

Now I dream  to do a MBA, to manage stuff, if I can't manage things in such small scale how will I be able to manage stuff in large scale? really? Am I cut out for the big stuff, the stuff I dream about, I really hope so I am

"Senior Software Tester" the tag really sounds good, especially the Senior tag, ;)
But since I am still doing the same job how much of a difference does it make? If I had a choice between getting this "Senior" tag or getting extra money I am really not sure which I would have chosen.

Extra cash is always welcome, but after working for 2-3 years you need to have a feeling that you are progressing somewhere and not still stuck at the same place. Thats where the tag helps, it gives you a feeling of importance (I am not sure if thats a good thing) but when you are continuing to do the same stuff you really start questing the tag.

Can I ask you guys who ever is reading this, If you had a choice between a cermonial tag and extra cash, which whould you take and why?