Showing posts with label weird. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weird. Show all posts

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Contradictory Proverbs: Exposing hypocrisy of our Elders quotes

Remember your school days and when the teacher told you the story of the "Hare & the Tortoise" and used to end with the proverb "Slow and steady wins the race." Then when you reached back home and you were idling on the sofa watching TV arguing with your mother there is plenty of time for you to do the homework she would lecture you saying "Time and tide waits for no man."

I know its for two different situations but have you ever thought that both these age old sayings are telling you two contradictory things? One is telling you being slow and steady will get success and the other tells you to hurry as Time doesn't wait for anyone. "All good things come to those who wait." is another proverb that contradicts the saying "Time and tide waits for no man". Like I said I know both apply to two different situations but if you really think about it, the quotes that our elders and even their elders liked to quote so much to us are contradicting to each other.


Silence is golden. BUT The squeaky wheel gets the grease. / Crying child gets the milk.

"Silence is golden" I have never understood this statement, how can silence = gold?(or silver?) I never got a chance to ask this as whenever I was quoted the above statement it was for me to become silent (and asking questions is not silence!). But then as the other proverb puts it unless you make noise things won't get done. Only if a baby cries does the child's mother know he/she is hungry and gives the child food.

Birds of a feather flock together. BUT Opposites attract.

A magnetic north pole attracts the south pole, "Opposites attract" is a oft used phrase to explain why two very different people become a couple. but consider this, you always tend to be in company of people like you, majority of your friends will have some similarity with you. Yet again here we have two sayings that are exactly opposite to each other.

Practice makes perfect. BUT All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

"Practice makes perfect" how many times have you heard this, to make you do things repeatedly this is a very often used proverb. Practice again and again till you get achieve perfection. But practice = work right? but all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, remember? (I don't remember any elders telling me this proverb and sending me to play. Hypocrites!!!)

Look before you leap. BUT Strike while the iron is hot.

Attack the iron while its coming out of the furnace, tackle the problem when you come to face to it not 10 days later when the problem has morphed into 20 more problems, absolutely agree to that. But what is this "Look before you leap", Isn't that telling me to consider the problems from 15 different angles and then to tackle it? Spending my time looking at it from different angles, isn't that letting the problem go cold before I get around to tackle it??

To quote some more

The pen is mightier than the sword. BUT Actions speak louder than words.

Wise men think alike. BUT Fools seldom differ.

The best things in life are free things. BUT There's no such thing as a free lunch. 

Do it well, or not at all. BUT Half a loaf is better than none. / Something is better than nothing

Don't cross your bridges before you come to them. BUT Forewarned is forearmed.

Doubt is the beginning of wisdom. BUT Faith will move mountains.

Great starts make great finishes. BUT It ain't over 'till it's over.

You're never too old to learn. BUT You can't teach an old dog new tricks

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. BUT One man's food is another man's poison.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. BUT Out of sight, out of mind.

Too many cooks spoil the broth. BUT Many hands make light work.

So what do we take from this, that our elders and their elders didn't know what they are saying, or being human actually make them hypocrites, making and using saying / proverbs as and when it fits them? Well actually I don't know. But what I know is that even I will be using these sayings as and when situations suits me (which makes me also a hypocrite, doesn't it?)

I am going to end this post by saying :-

Hold fast to the words of your ancestors. BUT Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Wacky Mobile Phone Ideas



Today my dad just in just asked me "If I was told to design a mobile phone, what features would I add into it?"

This set me thinking 
First the normal list,
Touch screen, slim, stylist, 3G enabled, GPRS, FM, MP3 video support, large memory camera, blue tooth, etc you know the normal things available in today’s Hi-End Cell Phones.

Now if I could add any feature into it what all would it be?

1) Auto Recharging
No more recharging, How many times have the cell suddenly died when you talking to someone special, or you are waiting for a important call, but then you notice your phone is dead cause you haven’t charged it. So I suggest auto recharge.
How to do it? You could include solar cells to the body to recharge the cell, but then if the cell is in your pocket it won't get charged right?
I am thinking of how automatic watches used to work, you keep a small movable part inside the cell, and it generates electricity to recharge the mobile while you walking or running, and even when you talking the small vibrations of your voice produce electricity to recharge the cell, (Just imagine how much power we will be able to generate when two ladies are talking?)

2) Water Proof, Child Proof, Damage Proof
How many Mobile have got damaged and spoiled cause some child spilled water on the cell, you jumped into a pool trying to save a pretty lady, in the rains, fell from your hands.
Making it water proof I guess should be simple, a water tight body which won't allow water to leak in, simple as that, how to make it damage proof and child proof, well make it strong that’s all I can say, if we can send a Man to the moon, why can't we protect a Mobile from damage?
Flip side to this is that if the mobile is not damaged how can we justify getting a new cell, (I will come back to this later)

3) Boss Protection
Now this would be a dream feature
No mood to go to office and need to call up the boss and tell him you sick, No problem, the Mobile does it for you, from picking which excuse to use to keeping track what excuse you used (so that your Mom-In-Law doesn't die twice the same week), 
If you calling in sick, it modulates your voice so that it you really sound sick. At the Cricket stadium and phoning to tell your Boss you at clients place, the phone removes the background noise so that your boss doesn't come to know
Chatting with the pretty lady in the canteen, and need to be alerted when the boss reached the office, your cell does it for you, watching the football match on your computer and need to know if someone going to peep into your cubical soon, your Mobile alerts you.

4) Theft protection
If anybody tried to pickpocket your cell, it would stunt him/her with a high electric volt, and as forgetful as you are if you leave the mobile in the locker room it would emit a loud sound to alert you to pick it up before you left the room. And yet if you don't pick it up, it starts following you till you pick it up. (Again if you can't lose a cell how will you buy a new one?)

5) Girl Friend Protection
You with Sandy and Mary calls up, Sandy's voice in the background is turned into office printer’s sound (or any other sound) and Mary thinks you are at the office working while you might be anywhere doing anything. 
Don't remember which Girls birthday is when, why worry the Mobile will send her fresh flowers or dry flowers depending if the relation is just starting or you dumping her tomorrow.
As with the boss protection the background noise can be adjusted depending on what lie you are telling her.
Wondering if the girl lying to you or sleeping with your best buddy, Mobile will act as a truth analyzer telling you if she is saying I love you while mentally undressing the Hot Hunk behind you,

6) In Style mode,
You cell is 6 moths old, there is a new stylized model out you can't afford to spend another 20 grand, what do you do, you do a style upgrade. Few minutes connected to the PC your cell reconfigures itself to the latest style. You can have the cell look like an IPhone or Google Nexus or any cell as you wish.
A great boon for the ladies, wearing a red dress and have a black phone, no problem, you press 2 keys the Mobile changes color to the exact shade of red you looking for.

7) Mobile Key
You open your house door, your car door, anything from your cell, just think with the theft protection in it, you can never lose it, you can never forget it as it itself warns you when you have forgotten it and follows you till you pick it up.

8) Your personal Fitness trainer,
Feel you are fat, ask the Mobile, it will tell you the truth, you don't like the truth throw the phone, don't worry its damage proof, ( think guys when your GF asks you if they have put on a bit of weight, you let the Mobile answer, they can direct the anger at the mobile not at you).
You wondering how much calories any food has, you take a picture of the plate with your cell and you cell tells you how much exercise you need to do if you eat that cake.

9) Personal Bodyguard
Include a Stun Gun inside the mobile, any one tries to rob you, you just stun the person (you can even use this to stun your annoying next door neighbor). If someone hits you, or you are hurt and unconscious, the mobile ring up the nearest police/hospital and brings help to you.

10) Cab Caller
How many times have we waited in the rains trying to hail a cab, or a empty cab just won't stop to pick you up, with a cab caller you just wave the phone and the nearest empty cab is dragged to you and forced to give you a ride. This would be so helpful when you want to rush home after getting drunk in the pup and you forgetting the time.



Wondering how the world would react if such a cell phone came out, ;)
These are just a few things that I thought of, You are welcome to share any other wacky ideas you can think of any feature you would like to see in you Mobile handset.