Humans, do we only try to survive and reproduce?

Humans, the earth’s dominant species, Ok! Are we so great or is it just a lot of water under the bridge?

Let’s take it point by point, we have conquered the whole world, visited almost every region, found ways to survive all kinds of situations Mother Nature could throw at us, from the Cold of the arctic to the Heat of the desert, we have conquered the tallest mountain (Mount Everest) and visited the deepest place (Marina Trench) on earth. We have found ways to fly like the birds or swim like the fish even if we weren't designed to do so and I think we will all credit this to one organ the BRAIN.

Look at us, 2 legs not made to run fast, the fastest a human can run is 9.6 miles per hour that also a 100 meter dash, a predator like a lion would make an easy meal of us. Two hands, ok, put us in front of an angry Ostridge, it will peck us to death and then turn and say "Look mom!! No hands". Two eyes that can see only in a limited wavelength, no wonder we are compelled to return home at night, Two ears that’s limited to a particular range of frequencies, nothing so great about us, apart from the one organ BRAIN.

The brain discovered fire, the wheel, thought the hands to wield tools, made instruments to run faster, fligh higher, swim deeper than nature could. And so what happened we became the dominant creatures of the planet. Ok, I don't want to disagree to that! But are we really the smartest?

I am quoting from a famous book Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Humans think that they're smarter than dolphins coz humans have invented the wheel and slogged to make a lot of progress while the whales just muck around enjoying life all day... Dolphins on the other hand feel that they're smarter than humans for precisely the same reason". Sounds pretty reasonable right? Wasn’t mucking around whole day much better than the pressures of the day, how to earn money, how shall I impress her/him so that I may mate? How can I provide that little rascal? etc etc. Sounds mucking around is a much better alternative.

Ok! one argument I heard against this was, we got a highly developed brain, we have emotions, we feel love, we get scared, we get bored, which proves for a fact that our brains are better than a Dolphin cause we feel emotions, and cause of that, if we just mucked around we would be bored. Also we can talk, we communicate, and there is no other species that can communicate the way we do.

What is it to prove that animals don't have emotions, that animals don't communicate? Dogs bark, birds sing, what you think it is random sounds? It’s been proved that Whales communicate over large distances, that Plants communicate by the means of pheromones.

Again how can you say animals don't have emotions? You feed a dog everyday, play with it, it comes running to you, wags its tail to show it’s happy that you are around. Isn't that emotion? Beat the same dog up, you will see it start whimpering and running away the next time it saw you, I would call it being scared, another emotion,   Elephants have been know to remember who was kind to them and who was not. Take what is called the dumbest animal, a Donkey; it will try to protect its kid if you try to harm it. Motherly love? Emotion?

Wait I am hearing what you guys saying, all the things above can be explained by one word Instinct. A baby being born knows by instinct that it has to breathe, animals running away from fire, Instinct. Ok then I can say that our emotions are nothing but instinct, We feel we love someone and don't want that person to get hurt, ok I will say we got that instinct a modified version of motherly love. I don't think anyone reading this has jumped off a 100 foot tower, we know its crazy, we will get hurt, how? Instinct. So how are humans better than any other creature?

I would say that humans like any other animal are just another species trying to survive and reproduce. The so called great developments and progress made by humans which made us the dominant species of the planet are mostly always made by a few ultra smart talented people who comes along once in a while (Einstein, Newton) an exception rather than a rule.

To start with fire, some unnamed unrecognized "Einstein" recognized the power of it,

The rest all human race are just copycats who are trying to survive and reproduce...

Never Drink and Talk

Background:
Boy – Girl friends for a couple of years, they know each other but not great friends, Boy is drunk after a night out with friends when he gets call from the girl. 
Writing in {} are thoughts of the guy


Boy: “Hi, saw your miss call, what happened?”
Girl: “Nothing, am at Dadar, do you know how to get to the station?”
Boy: “Why don’t you just ask anyone, it’s pretty easy anyone they will guide you?’ {How can I guide you when I don’t even know where you are at Dadar?”
Boy: “where are you at Dadar?”
        “I don’t know I see a Citibank ATM here”
Boy: “ok take a right and go strait you will reach the station” {I don’t know where the ATM is”
Girl: but the guy here told me to take a left
Boy: that only, my right, his left you’re straight
Girl: “are you making fun of me?” “It’s so crowded here”
Boy: “Its Mumbai what do you expect? Roses on the street?”
Girl: “you are not talking properly to me today? What happened?”
Boy: “nothing, talk to you later?”
Girl: “dam this crowd!” “Hey I see the station?”
Boy: “Good!! So talk to you later?”
Girl: ‘why are you in such a hurry to keep, can’t you talk to me?”
Boy: “sweetie, Am drunk, you want me to keep on talking?”
Girl: “Shee!! You drink, very bad, you shouldn’t drink”
Boy {I am supposed to listen to lecture, should I cut the phone saying no range?”}
Girl: “this is bad, think about your health”
Boy: “why are you worried about my health, you are not my GF”
Girl: I am your friend, I care for you”
Boy: “I am single, you care for me, why don’t you become my GF? “ {F*** what am I saying}
Girl: “you and my BF, hahahahahahaha”
Boy: “what’s so funny, Why can’t I be your BF, what’s wrong in me”
Girl:  “Nothing”
Boy: “then, I am smart, earning well, also from same religion what’s the problem” “{Stupid what are you saying, wait this is going to be fun, lets see her reply}
Girl: “Nothing”
Boy: “then??”
Girl: “Stop it!! There is no problem with you, you are a nice guy”
Boy: “then why don’t you become my gf?
Girl: “I don’t see you like that; you are my nice friend that’s it”
Boy: “you girls are real bad, now when a guy is saying he likes you, you shoot him down”
Girl: “Stop it, you are too drunk, am cutting the call, bye”
Boy: “Before when I was keeping you wanted to talk, now when I saying I like you, you keeping the phone, how bad”
Girl: “Stop it; you don’t even know what you saying?”
Boy: “I am drunk, and a drunken person always says the truth”
Girl: “Is that true?”
Boy: “Come on, how can anyone think clearly when they drunk? And when you can’t think how can you lie?”
Girl:  ""
Boy: “hello!!”
Girl: “we will talk later; you won’t even remember tomorrow what you are saying”
Boy: “No!! I will remember,”
Boy: “I love you” {WHAT???}
Girl: “what?”
Boy: {WHAT??, STUPID WHAT DID YOU SAY NOW?”}
Girl: “hello!!”
Boy: {WHAT, always say I like you, never I LOVE you, NEVER}
Girl: “Hello!!, you there”
Boy: “ya, me here”
Girl: “What did you say right now?”
Boy: “Nothing!!, was just saying I will remember the conversation tomorrow”
Girl: “I reached the station, we will talk later, you take care, goodnight”
Boy: “goodnight”

                           ---------------------------------------------------------------------

Next Morning –

Boy: {Good Morning Stupid, what were you talking yesterday?”}
Boy: {I better call her up}
Calls her, Girl doesn’t pick phone
Boy: “Dam! What now she won’t talk to me also?”

                           ----------------------------------------------------------------------


Boy tries to call girl for 2 days, girl never picks the phone and doesn’t call back either


Cell vibrating, boy picks up cell and sees message from the girl
“Hey Boy, jus wantd to say dat m not lookin fr something serious.. atleast not now.. hope dats mutual..”
Boy {DAM! What do I do} tries to call her again, she doesn’t pick
Replies to the message “U got scared after that Friday right.. I knew it, No wonder u didn’t pick my calls, trust me, we r just friends, what happenes in future lets see, but we just friends.. “

Girl Repies “Ok Cool..No Commitments.. Jus hav Fun, hang out :) “
Boy Replies “ yep, 1 question.. hangout? When do we do that??”
Girl replies “hahah, next Saturday?”
Boy replies “No Commitments baby, we just agreed on that right?”
Girl replies “hahaha”

                          ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Boy calls the girl the next day, she picks up the phone, happy conversation, happy ending..

                         -----------------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer : 
The above writing may or may not be fictional, the blogger may or may not take any questions regarding the above writing, tho criticism and suggestions are always welcome

Wacky Mobile Phone Ideas

Today my dad just in just asked me "If I was told to design a mobile phone, what features would I add into it?"

This set me thinking 

First the normal list,

Touch screen, slim, stylist, 3G enabled, GPRS, FM, MP3 video support, large memory camera, blue tooth, etc you know the normal things available in today’s Hi-End Cell Phones.

Now if I could add any feature into it what all would it be?

1) Auto Recharging

No more recharging, How many times have the cell suddenly died when you talking to someone special, or you are waiting for a important call, but then you notice your phone is dead cause you haven’t charged it. So I suggest auto recharge.

How to do it? You could include solar cells to the body to recharge the cell, but then if the cell is in your pocket it won't get charged right?

I am thinking of how automatic watches used to work, you keep a small movable part inside the cell, and it generates electricity to recharge the mobile while you walking or running, and even when you talking the small vibrations of your voice produce electricity to recharge the cell, (Just imagine how much power we will be able to generate when two ladies are talking?)

2) Water Proof, Child Proof, Damage Proof

How many Mobile have got damaged and spoiled cause some child spilled water on the cell, you jumped into a pool trying to save a pretty lady, in the rains, fell from your hands.

Making it water proof I guess should be simple, a water tight body which won't allow water to leak in, simple as that, how to make it damage proof and child proof, well make it strong that’s all I can say, if we can send a Man to the moon, why can't we protect a Mobile from damage?

Flip side to this is that if the mobile is not damaged how can we justify getting a new cell, (I will come back to this later)

3) Boss Protection

Now this would be a dream feature

No mood to go to office and need to call up the boss and tell him you sick, No problem, the Mobile does it for you, from picking which excuse to use to keeping track what excuse you used (so that your Mom-In-Law doesn't die twice the same week), 

If you calling in sick, it modulates your voice so that it you really sound sick. At the Cricket stadium and phoning to tell your Boss you at clients place, the phone removes the background noise so that your boss doesn't come to know

Chatting with the pretty lady in the canteen, and need to be alerted when the boss reached the office, your cell does it for you, watching the football match on your computer and need to know if someone going to peep into your cubical soon, your Mobile alerts you.

4) Theft protection

If anybody tried to pickpocket your cell, it would stunt him/her with a high electric volt, and as forgetful as you are if you leave the mobile in the locker room it would emit a loud sound to alert you to pick it up before you left the room. And yet if you don't pick it up, it starts following you till you pick it up. (Again if you can't lose a cell how will you buy a new one?)

5) Girl Friend Protection

You with Sandy and Mary calls up, Sandy's voice in the background is turned into office printer’s sound (or any other sound) and Mary thinks you are at the office working while you might be anywhere doing anything. 

Don't remember which Girls birthday is when, why worry the Mobile will send her fresh flowers or dry flowers depending if the relation is just starting or you dumping her tomorrow.

As with the boss protection the background noise can be adjusted depending on what lie you are telling her.

Wondering if the girl lying to you or sleeping with your best buddy, Mobile will act as a truth analyzer telling you if she is saying I love you while mentally undressing the Hot Hunk behind you,

6) In Style mode,

You cell is 6 moths old, there is a new stylized model out you can't afford to spend another 20 grand, what do you do, you do a style upgrade. Few minutes connected to the PC your cell reconfigures itself to the latest style. You can have the cell look like an IPhone or Google Nexus or any cell as you wish.

A great boon for the ladies, wearing a red dress and have a black phone, no problem, you press 2 keys the Mobile changes color to the exact shade of red you looking for.

7) Mobile Key

You open your house door, your car door, anything from your cell, just think with the theft protection in it, you can never lose it, you can never forget it as it itself warns you when you have forgotten it and follows you till you pick it up.

8) Your personal Fitness trainer,

Feel you are fat, ask the Mobile, it will tell you the truth, you don't like the truth throw the phone, don't worry its damage proof, ( think guys when your GF asks you if they have put on a bit of weight, you let the Mobile answer, they can direct the anger at the mobile not at you).

You wondering how much calories any food has, you take a picture of the plate with your cell and you cell tells you how much exercise you need to do if you eat that cake.

9) Personal Bodyguard

Include a Stun Gun inside the mobile, any one tries to rob you, you just stun the person (you can even use this to stun your annoying next door neighbor). If someone hits you, or you are hurt and unconscious, the mobile ring up the nearest police/hospital and brings help to you.

10) Cab Caller

How many times have we waited in the rains trying to hail a cab, or a empty cab just won't stop to pick you up, with a cab caller you just wave the phone and the nearest empty cab is dragged to you and forced to give you a ride. This would be so helpful when you want to rush home after getting drunk in the pup and you forgetting the time.

Wondering how the world would react if such a cell phone came out, ;)

These are just a few things that I thought of, You are welcome to share any other wacky ideas you can think of any feature you would like to see in you Mobile handset.

March 2010 Kerala trip - Grandmom's 90th Birthday

"90, that’s how old your grand mom is going to be this year, We going to Kerala for her birthday" this was what my dad told me when I came to know that he has booked tickets to Kerala without even asking me if I wanted to come, and to tell you the truth I was pissed off, Did I want to waste my holidays going to Kerala smiling at my relatives or would I prefer to go to some other place like Ladhak or Kashmir, I would have chosen the later.

So with not a great mood, that’s letting my parents know that I am being dragged on this trip against my will my trip to Kerala starts with the trip to the airport, A non interesting flight to Cochin and a drive to my native place: Pala. 

Man its hot, have never been to Kerala when’s so hot, people are saying this is the hottest march ever, I wonder how may is going to be there

Now the trip starts getting better, with aunts and uncles asking how long it has been since we saw you, you have changed etc, you know the usual dialogues.

I feel if I had got 10 Bucks for every time I heard one of these statements the trip to Kerala would have paid for itself.

1) How long since I saw you

2) You have become fat

3) So working, now next your marriage (seriously, I people can't think of anything else?)

4) You look just like your dad now (I am committing suicide)

Saw my grand mom, 90 great age, but I don't want to live so long if I will end up like her, frail and weak depending on others for everything, and I literally mean everything, She doesn't even recognize my Dad forget me.

Went through the fields, the places I used to run and play when I was a child, Man! the memories I miss those days, Summer holidays in Kerala, Playing in the fields, swimming in the stream, having sweets from Uncles, great food grand mom used to cook, bedtime stories, those were really fun days, The memories coming back really made me nostalgic.

Next day went to my moms place, met my granddad, stayed at our house there, It seems a cat had jumped into the well and died, so it was taken out and all the water was pumped out to clean out the water, But I was just thinking we pumped out so much water just cause a cat jumped into it, what about all the water we drink in Mumbai, wonder what all has died in it.

This night it rained in Kerala, now it felt like a Kerala I know, heat reduced, humidity in the air, everything wet and damp, power gone cause some tree fell over a power line, this is the Kerala I know, We celebrated grandma’s birthday this evening, had fun with all the uncles aunties and cousins, missed a few of them who couldn't make it.

Climbed a guava tree and plucked its fruit, long time since I have climbed anything apart from my building staircase, was fun :) 

Returning to Mumbai, now I wonder why I made the fuss about going to Kerala, It was not at all a waste of my holidays, I really had fun. Wondering now when will I be going next time.

My 23rd birthday!!!

"Yet another Birthday, am 23 now, Just another 23 year old nobody lose in this world who hasn't done anything of note"

The above words running in my head was how I got up on the morning of 21st March (my birthday), so without a smile on my face I wished the person in the mirror a Happy Birthday and to note the person from the mirror didn't smile back either.

But had to force a smile on my face when my mom came and wished me happy birthday, to tell the truth the first true smile of the day came to my face when I came to know my mom had made a cake and while cutting it I got gifts from my parents. (There’s something in gifts, they mostly always bring smiles to peoples faces)

Dragged my self to church then attended mass, a few friends over there wished me. 

At about 11a.m I got out of my house, my friend was coming from Pune to meet me on my birthday; I spend almost the whole day with her,

Saw 3 movies back to back

'The book of Eli'

'Alice in Wonderland'

And the boring ' My Name is Khan'

3 movies can you believe it, I spend my birthday giving money to Fame Raghuleela, well at least someone profited out of this,

If you wondering how it happened that me, who’s not a movie buff happened to watch 3 movies on a same day, Well truly this friend from Pune had told me earlier that its being a long time since she saw a movie so I thought for her we will watch a movie, and we went to see 'Book of Eli' at the end of the movie she was like she wants to see one more,

I was like OK, so we went in the see 'Alice in wonderland' Nice movie, had fun again, after the movie a few other friends came, and 1 another friend when she heard that I saw 2 movies was like hell now see a movie with me, and she dragged me for 'My Name is Khan'. 

So this how I came to spend my birthday in Fame Raghuleela, Vashi.

Now about 9:30 ran home reached home at about 10:15 and then my dear mom started saying "you can't spend a hour with your family, 1 birthday on Sunday and you were roaming with your friends etc" I kept my mouth shut had food, kissed her and went to sleep, end of day.

So there ends the 21st of March 2010, but is celebration of me surviving 1 more year older over? Nope, I went to office the next day and was wished by people there, lootofied for a party by office mates (2 to 5 outside office in the name of lunch), got a facial with cake (such a waste of cake) and in the end, people who were frustrated took it out on me in the name of Birthday bumps (ouch!), In all birthday part 2 was also as fun except the fact that cause in office I had to act like I am working.

I started my birthday feeling real low that I am a 'nobody', birthday ended me feeling good of life, I don't know somehow I have this feeling inside me that this year is going to be good, fingers crossed!!

Office Humor : DF Institute of Management Studies

There was this crazy talk in office today, just a business plan

Institute name:    DF Institute of Management Studies
Degree given:      Advanced course in Marketing management.
Tag line:              Management degree in 30 mins

Why spend 2 years to earn a degree in management, when all you need to know are discounts and reward points.  30 mins lecture and you are all set to go and doom a company and give unnecessary extra work to people working there.

Faculty:  The best in market, who teach you at a discount how to distribute the maximum reward points without ever going into profits.

Entrance Exam: DUMB (DF Universal Management Bakwas)
Real tough paper to pass with very difficult questions
For e.g.
1) Which is the longest word?
      a)pin
      b) Tap
      c) Pineapple
      d) Cat

2) What is 2+2?
     a) 2
     b) 4
     c) 22
     d) 200

3) Who went up the hill with jack?
      a) Jill
      b) Princess
      c) Dog
      d) John

Real hard paper, anyone who gets full marks is immediately disqualified, as people who are bookish and can't see outside the box.


Advertisement:
Sexy girl: I can’t date you; you are not even a manager?
IID Boy: Manager, Will you wait for me for two years while I study.
Sexy girl Why spend two years in college when you can earn your degree in 30 mins?
IID Boy: Really? From where?
Sexy girl: DF Institute of Management Studies, 30 mins mai Manager.
IID Boy: Thanks DF, without DF I would never have got my girl (reward points)



P.S
Ideas given here are the contribution (hard work and sweat) of lot many people, if anyone is insulted (read interested) reading this please contact us for the business proposal.


P.S.S
For those who couldn't make head or tails of things written above, Congratulations, you have been admitted as the first students of DF Institute of Management Studies

Happy birthday sisters

One Sun guides us in the day, one moon at night,
But two sisters I have, who guide me day & night,
How Lucky I have been, to have the best sisters the world has seen,
Most have one guardian angle, somehow God gave me two.

Fighting and bossing are the things you do,
Nagging me and bugging me, you love to do,
But my sister let me tell you,
I would never want this world to be without you.

You may not always be with me,
But am sure your blessing are,
This birthday I want to tell you
That I always missing you.

My best friend you may not be,
I may not tell you everything I do,
But my guardian angle please listen to me,
When I tell you I love you.

Happy Birthday dear sisters, Hope you have a really great day, and a even more wonderful year, Wish I could be with you to celebrate this day